Catholic Bishops Blast Obama | Internet Thief Kim Dotcom Jailed | The Gingrich-Romney Comedy

The Catholic Bishops of the United States called “literally unconscionable” a decision by the Obama Administration to continue to demand that sterilization, abortifacients and contraception be included in virtually all health plans. (U.S. Catholic Bishops website) …Hoowee! At boy Obama don’t care whut nobody thanks does he? Of course exceptions are made fer them dudes who can pony up 35 grand a plate fer one’a his dinners. So he’s gon’ force Catholic hospitals, charities t’violate their religious beliefs an buy abortion and contraception insurance? Duh. DaddyO’s lookin’ like we got ourselfs a real dictator here.

Kim Schmitz legally changed his surname to Dotcom at some point over the last decade, an homage to the technology that made him a millionaire and that has now landed him in a New Zealand jail. (WSJ)… Duh! At fat-boy sleaze ball got caught stealin’ millions a’dollars worth a’movies an’ music with his Megauploads site. An’ he brags about gittin’ away with crime. Course he did git convicted of insider tradin’ a while back. Zips right by cops in his black Mercedes. Calls hisself Dr. Evil. Now ain’tat boy nice? Continue reading

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Congressional Chaplains in Pickle | Obama in Yet Another Dire Warning Mood | Baptist Redneck Shop Exposed | Colbert Runs Again

Congress’s Chaplains Try to Instill Civility in a Quarrelsome Flock …Duh! Good luck, Revs. At’ll take more knee time than you got left.

The administration has warned Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, that closing the Strait of Hormuz is a “red line” that would provoke a response, officials said. …Duh! An’ how many times does ‘at make ‘at DaddyO has made his fearful threat? Ooooh,,, by now “em boys in Iran oughtta be skeered t’death.

A court ruling confirmed that the Redneck Shop, run by a white supremacist, is in a building that belongs to a black Baptist pastor. …Duh! Pastor, politician, whutever. All of’em are in it fer money and power over anybody ‘at’ll fall fer the con.

Stephen Colbert, the host of “The Colbert Report,” announced that he would form an “exploratory committee for president of the United States of South Carolina. …not much Duh thair! Makes ’bout as much sense as the rest a’ them characters.

Conservative Christian leaders have scaled back their goals for a meeting to be held in Texas on Friday and Saturday, acknowledging that they are unlikely to agree on a single alternative candidate to Mitt Romney until after the South Carolina primary on Jan. 21, if then. …Duh! Whut a quandry. If we git rid’a the Mormon, are we left with the chubby dude with three divorces?

Like at ole boy Siggy said jist before he invented his famous slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

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Jobless Rate Fallin’? | Obama Defense Strategy? | Prostate Screenin’ Bad? | Redistribute What Wealth Is Left?

I’m jist gon’ be lazy t’day an’ use only one Duh source: The Washin’ton Post. Always plenty a’duhs thair. ‘Ey’re all ’bout the same anyhow. It’s jist differ’nt opinin’ ’bout the same stuff. Nobody jist reports the news any more — not eebm the wire services. Everbody wonts t’make news, not report it.

Falling Jobless Rate Is Good News for Obama Duhh! And now this from DuhNooz Noozroom: FLASH! The ceilin’ is above your head. FLASH! The floor has been found under your feet. For more excitin’, breakin’ news check out vapornet now, and see all the news that vaporizes before your very eyes!

President Obama’s defense strategy rests on shaky assumptions. Duh! Eebm his bedfeller, the W.P. can see a problem with cashin’ out the military in times like these. Course DaddyO still thanks he c’n cool Iran an’ their A-bomb jist usin’ one a’his magic speeches an’ a Teleprompter. An’ puttin’ a few troops in Australia will scare the bejeebers out a’li’l ole China! Kin I git a big double Duhh?

Routine Prostate Screening Does Not Save Lives: Study. Course they’re talkin’ PSA, at ole blood test. Duh! Everbody knows it takes a doc with a good strong fanger up y’butt t’gitat handled!

Liberals have a rendezvous with regret. Their largest achievement is today’s redistributionist government. But such government is inherently regressive: It tends to distribute power and money to the strong, including itself. (George Will, WP) DUH! Course it does, George. Like the communists everywhere claimin’ they’re gonna make everbody equal, then takin’ all the goodies fer they selves.

Like at ole boy Thomas Paine said back thair in 1792, when fathers wuz first bein’ promoted t’forefathers. “Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil” –The Rights of Man (1792)

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The Iowa Conspiracy | Drunk Shoppers in Danger | Trump’s, Christie’s & Obama’s Act, Romney’s Deadly Lack of One

The Republican field in Iowa has split into two clear tiers, following the spectacular rise and fall of so many contenders this season. (WSJ) DUH! Who’d be su’prised by that? Don’ we all know that Iowa fokes have a conspiracy goin’? They keep attention on their selfs by given’ ever pollster whut calls a differnt answer!

    Shopping while drinking has long benefited high-end specialty retailers; now the popularity of Internet sales has opened alcohol-induced buying to the masses. (NYT) DUH! It ain’t jist the rich or the homies. Who ain’t been runned into by a weavin’ cart in Walmart?

    A close-up study of Mr. Romney’s interactions with voters captures a candidate who can be efficient, funny and self-deprecating, yet often strains to connect in a personal way. (NYT) DUH! Mother Times jist cain’t compliment a Republican if she tries. Always gotta add a take-back.

    To hear Donald Trump tell it, “millions of people” are waiting for him to make an endorsement in the Republican presidential primary. And at some point, he says, he’ll likely grace a candidate with one — that is, unless he decides to run himself as an independent. (USAT) DUH! ‘An somebody’s su’prised by that? Everbody knows that Donny Boy jist craves attention. ‘An as long as crazyness sells papers and raises ratings, he’ll git it.

    Christie Rings ‘Bam’s Bell: Obama Left Us ‘Hopeless’ and’Changeless’ (Fox Nation) DUH! Good act, Guv! You of all people know it’s the act that gits a body elected. Jist don’t fergit that DaddyO’s got the best one that hit town since Bubba Clinton felt our pain. Right up thair with pro-actor Reagan. An’ yore man Romney jist ain’t got no act at all. Pity.

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    Who’s Killin’ the Economy? With Stats Good & Media Bad Mouthin’, It Must Be Them!

    Signs Point to Economy’s Rise, but Experts See a False Dawn (NYT)

    …DUHH! Does anybody but me thank maybe the upstairs media is determined that the economy is gonna be beat down no matter how much it tries to git up an’ shine? An’ when Mother Times says it, they all foller right along? Like damn the facts, lets all say our opinion?

    C’mon fokes, give the economy a break. We’ll all be better off if you people stop bad-mouthin’ it! An’ don’t give us that crap that you jis’ report the news. The headline in this piece says you’re determined to report thangs as bad even when they’re good!

    It’s like at ole philosopher David Hume said back air before we made our best oil discovery, which wuz it’s a great excuse fer startin a war, “It is never possible to deduce judgements of value from matters of fact”Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding (1751)

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    New Students at Penn State There For The Sexual Excitement?

    Undergraduate applications at Penn State University are up 4 percent over this time last year, school officials said, despite a sexual abuse scandal that has shaken the school to its foundation and led to speculation that many students would decide not to apply. (WP)… Duh! Don’t you people know students thank a sex scandal makes everthang more excitin’? They’s more new students because of the scandal.

    Media mogul Donald Trump will moderate a Republican presidential debate sponsored by the conservative website Newsmax in Des Moines, Iowa on Dec. 27, Newsmax confirmed today. Duh! Now Trump’s a media mogul? Whut happened to the title real-estate mogul? An’ is everbody with a high-horse TV show a media mogul?

    Question:  “How much time is Obama focused on the campaign on a given day?” (a actual question asked in a news conference). Answer: White House spokesman Jay Carney: akshully sez “On a given day?  I can’t do it on a given day.  I would say on a given week about 5 percent of his time.” (WPost)… Duh! Boy, don’t you know that if you’re gonna lie you oughtta at least make it sound believable? You need t’take some lessons frum yore boss! Continue reading

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    Crazy Crows Infestin’ Terre Haute? | Rick Perry Dead? | Mountain Dew Saved Holy Ghost’s Tour?

    Crazy Crows Infestin’ Terre Haute? (NYT) …Crow Patrol shoots fireworks at’em. – Mus’ be nice t’be known as the Crow City. Other places spend millions to pull in tourists. But Terre Haute? Crows at poop all over everything! Duh!

    Rick Perry Dead? …in the water, that is. He’s tryin’ t’git his failin’ campaign goin’ agin with a flat tax plan? Dang! At’ll shore grab’em. I mean talk about imagination. Talk about grabbin’ everbody’s attention! Duh! When a lotta fokes he needs t’vote fer’im don’t ebm know who the vice president is, he’ really gonna grab the attention of their glazed-over eyes with a whut? A flat tax? Double Duh! Continue reading

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    Berkeley Racist Bake Sale | iPhone Trash | Offshoot Demonstrators |

    Racist Bake Sale Sparks Outrage At UC Berkeley –A Facebook post announcing plans by a UC Berkeley Republican group to sell baked goods priced according to race, gender and ethnicity – “White/Caucasian” pastries: $2, “Black/African American” pastries: 75 cents, “Native American” pastries: only a quarter; has drawn some extreme outrage by students. Duhh! Caint you fokes take a joke? Oops… wait a minute. This is UC Berkeley. Dang! I ferget that the potheads thair only git libral jokes at poke conservatives.

    New iPhone Conceals Sheer Magic –Man, don’t it ever! Dude comes inta my place yesterdy jis dyin t’show me his new 4S. At sucker acted jist like a servant at knows everthang. An’ don’t we all like t’have obedient servants? Does at mean we don’t hafta google stuff no more? BIG DUHH fer Google! At iPhone looks a whole lot easier. Gotta look up when my 4 contract runs out! Maybe pay the penalty t’cancel? Is at a good money-makin’ game fer AT&T an’ Verizon er whut? Continue reading

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    Muslim Bigamists, iPhone Addiction, ID For Voters? The Tax Reform Con–Agin? The Border Game.

    A growing number of young British Muslims are taking second or third wives in an unexpected revival of polygamy, according to religious leaders. (London Times)

    Duhh… mus’ be a buncha dull-brain dudes t’wont multi jealous women runnin’ roun’ the house! But’ fer alla you sayin’ you’re shook aboutat, why is marryin’ more’n one woman illegal in the U.S.? Ain’tat personal? Like same sex marriage? I’d thank ever good doobee libral’d be fer it.

    Brain studies show a close similarity with the iPhone, alcohol, tobacco and drug addictions. Even babies, when handed a Blackberry, swiped the screen as though it were an iPhone. (NY Times)

    Duh! So whut? Don’t we all love our addictions? An’at one ain’t nearly as spensive as smokes, booze an’dope! Which one’a them can y’do fer a hunderd bucks a month er less?

    Since Republicans won control of many statehouses last November, more than a dozen states have passed laws requiring voters to show photo identification at polls. (NYT)

    Oh, man! My friend Junior ain’t gonna like at! He’s one’a them at blieves in votin’ early an’ often. Fact is, he’s a community organizer with a whole team a’perfessional voters. And he don’t care which pol pays’im fer’ it, long as it’s cash in advance.

    Talk of cutting tax breaks to raise money and reduce the debt has become a mantra in Washington, but it threatens a favorite political tool of lawmakers on both sides of the aisle. (NYT)

    Duh, poor politicians. Cain’t do a thang at makes sense, cause it’ll hurt their own power over the people at’re spose t’be their bosses.

    Veteran Mexican border crossers present an enormous challenge to American policymakers. (NYT)

    Duhh! VETERAN border crossers? Don’tat put a double exclamation point after dumb & dumber in Washinton?!!

    Like at ole boy Siggy said jist ‘fore he invented his famous slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

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    Obama Donors Wakin’ Up? Cain Won Whut? Putin Comeback or Never Left?

    “Small Donors Are Slow to Return to the Obama Fold—in recent months, the frustration and disillusionment that have dragged down Mr. Obama’s approval ratings have crept into the ranks of his vaunted small-donor army.”—(NY Times) Well, Duhh! Whut took’em so long? How many times of pretendin’ to cure all ills with a fairy tale called a speech does it take fer fokes to realize his change fantasy wuz jist more politics as usual?

    “In a severe embarrassment for the Republican presidential frontrunner, businessman Herman Cain tripped up Gov. Rick Perry in a straw ballot of Florida Republican activists Saturday.” (LA Times) Jist whut does a straw poll of 2500 fokes who paid $175 to attend the Republican Debate mean?  Jist one thang: the media wants somethin’ outrageous t’use fer sellin’ papers an’ TV eyeballs. Cain’s a nice, funny guy, but president? Duhh.

    “Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and President Dmitry Medvedev told Russia on Saturday that they intend to swap jobs, putting the country on an authoritarian path for years to come.” (USA Today)–Well, Duhh. Did anybody spect anythang else? So whut’s DaddyO gonna do t’brang democracy to Russia? Why jist Afghanistan an’ Libya?

    Like at ole boy Siggy said jist before he invented his famous slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

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