The White House is preparing for Republicans to use the high cost of oil and gas to condemn the president’s policies on energy and the economy. Duh! Would them Repubs really do that? Why that might hurt the president of the United States. An’ why is the NYT reportin’ from Obama’s side anyways? Could they all be big buds? Oh, you already noticee that didn’ yi?

The Kremlin, seemingly undeterred by an international outcry, has worked frantically to preserve its relationship with the government of President Bashar al-Assad. Duh! Whur’s the su’prise? Don’t we already know that outlaws are birds of a feather?

One of the biggest Chinese suppliers for Apple, Dell, Hewlett-Packard and other electronics companies said salaries for many workers would immediately jump by 16 to 25 percent. Duh! Could it be that broadsides throwed at Apple an’ all them other tech outfits made’em jack somebody up with the news that they could all could move to Mexico tomorrow if ‘at bad PR keeps comin’ down?

The Federal Trade Commission told a consumer watchdog group that it was the government’s job to decide whether to investigate Google’s data privacy changes. Duh! An’ don’t you fergit it. Ain’t nobody spose t’do anything the gummint wants t’do. Never fergit: gummint can an’ will gitchy if you dare ace’em with a little thang called private enterprise!

Conservatives and liberals agree about reducing the number of abortions, but argue about how to do that. Duh! One side really wonts to do sumpm about it, the other side jist wonts t’talk about it. Guess which side is which.

Like 48 grand fer a football jersey, jist cause some football player who’ll play in the Super Bowl wore it in a game back in October. Duh!

Like 16 grand fer a seat at the Super Bowl when y’can see it better on TV, and not be bothered by all them fokes y’don’t even know. Duh!

In Nevada, some Jewish fokes had their own caucus after sundown so they didn’ hafta break the Sabbath t’vote. Jist fine so far, but then thair’s a flap over who’s Jewish, with statements t’sign. I guess some of’em didn’t wont no goyam in their space. Duh!

Then thair’s all this pulavver over chicken wings. Used t’be that wings wuz the chicken part nobody wanted. Then comes Hooters, the boobie place. They give men another reason t’claim their thair fer sump’m besides boobie watchin.’ Hot wings, fer cryin’ out loud. Then men got t’start sayin’ they like them throw away parts everwhair. Otherwise they couldn’t splain why they wuz at Hooters. An’ so the stupid wing got t’be the most important part’a the chicken. Duh!

Now everbody’s spose t’eat wings while watchin’ the Super Bowl? Does ‘at mean men git the same charge outta the Super Bowl ‘at they git outta the main attraction at Hooters?

Like at ole boy Siggy Freud said jist ‘fore he invented his famous slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

The message from Saturday’s rally against Indiana’s “right to work” bill was clear: Its opponents still want to be heard. “We’re going to occupy the Statehouse next week,” said rally co-organizer Bill Mullen, a professor at Purdue University. “And we’re prepared to occupy the Super Bowl a week from tomorrow. This campaign is not going to stop. (IndyStar.com) Now hang on thair, Clod. You’re messin’ with people’s Super Bowl. ‘At’s about the worst thang you could ever do. An’ that ain’t gon’ git you any sympathy. You’re gittin’ on everbody’s bad side fer this’un. Duh!

WHAT is it with Barack Obama’s penchant for getting in tangles with blond politicians on airport tarmacs? Usually, tarmacs are for joyous welcomes or teary goodbyes. But No Drama Obama saves his rare tempests for the runway. (Maurine Dowd, NYT) Duh! Whut is it? It’s blievin’ yer own stuff. An’ deep down sexism. Can you imagine DaddyO lookin’ at Arnold Schwarzenegger and takin’ hold’a his arm to cool him down, like he did Gov. Jan Brewer an’ Hillary Clinton? Duh!

It’s like at ole philosopher Desiderius Erasmus said way back yonder: “Fortune favours the fool.” In Praise of Folly (1515)

Kim Schmitz legally changed his surname to Dotcom at some point over the last decade, an homage to the technology that made him a millionaire and that has now landed him in a New Zealand jail. (WSJ)… Duh! At fat-boy sleaze ball got caught stealin’ millions a’dollars worth a’movies an’ music with his Megauploads site. An’ he brags about gittin’ away with crime. Course he did git convicted of insider tradin’ a while back. Zips right by cops in his black Mercedes. Calls hisself Dr. Evil. Now ain’tat boy nice?

Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney have been getting in each others’ way for months now, so it’s only natural they would schedule appearances at the same place at the same time on primary day in South Carolina. USA Today) …Now the best part. The eats joint is called the Tommy’s Ham House. …Duh! How appropriate!

GQ Magazine says a party planner is one’a the top 10 most powerful fokes in Washin’ton, an’ more powerful than the president… Duh! Some rags’ll try anythang, tell any lie t’git noticed.

It’s like at ole philosopher David Hume said back air ‘fore we made our best oil discovry, which wuz it’s a great excuse fer startin’ a war, “It is never possible to deduce judgements of value from matters of fact” —Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding (1751)

The administration has warned Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, that closing the Strait of Hormuz is a “red line” that would provoke a response, officials said. …Duh! An’ how many times does ‘at make ‘at DaddyO has made his fearful threat? Ooooh,,, by now “em boys in Iran oughtta be skeered t’death.

A court ruling confirmed that the Redneck Shop, run by a white supremacist, is in a building that belongs to a black Baptist pastor. …Duh! Pastor, politician, whutever. All of’em are in it fer money and power over anybody ‘at’ll fall fer the con.

Stephen Colbert, the host of “The Colbert Report,” announced that he would form an “exploratory committee for president of the United States of South Carolina. …not much Duh thair! Makes ’bout as much sense as the rest a’ them characters.

Conservative Christian leaders have scaled back their goals for a meeting to be held in Texas on Friday and Saturday, acknowledging that they are unlikely to agree on a single alternative candidate to Mitt Romney until after the South Carolina primary on Jan. 21, if then. …Duh! Whut a quandry. If we git rid’a the Mormon, are we left with the chubby dude with three divorces?

Like at ole boy Siggy said jist before he invented his famous slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

Falling Jobless Rate Is Good News for Obama Duhh! And now this from DuhNooz Noozroom: FLASH! The ceilin’ is above your head. FLASH! The floor has been found under your feet. For more excitin’, breakin’ news check out vapornet now, and see all the news that vaporizes before your very eyes!

President Obama’s defense strategy rests on shaky assumptions. Duh! Eebm his bedfeller, the W.P. can see a problem with cashin’ out the military in times like these. Course DaddyO still thanks he c’n cool Iran an’ their A-bomb jist usin’ one a’his magic speeches an’ a Teleprompter. An’ puttin’ a few troops in Australia will scare the bejeebers out a’li’l ole China! Kin I git a big double Duhh?

Routine Prostate Screening Does Not Save Lives: Study. Course they’re talkin’ PSA, at ole blood test. Duh! Everbody knows it takes a doc with a good strong fanger up y’butt t’gitat handled!

Liberals have a rendezvous with regret. Their largest achievement is today’s redistributionist government. But such government is inherently regressive: It tends to distribute power and money to the strong, including itself. (George Will, WP) DUH! Course it does, George. Like the communists everywhere claimin’ they’re gonna make everbody equal, then takin’ all the goodies fer they selves.

Like at ole boy Thomas Paine said back thair in 1792, when fathers wuz first bein’ promoted t’forefathers. “Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil” –The Rights of Man (1792)

Shopping while drinking has long benefited high-end specialty retailers; now the popularity of Internet sales has opened alcohol-induced buying to the masses. (NYT) DUH! It ain’t jist the rich or the homies. Who ain’t been runned into by a weavin’ cart in Walmart?

A close-up study of Mr. Romney’s interactions with voters captures a candidate who can be efficient, funny and self-deprecating, yet often strains to connect in a personal way. (NYT) DUH! Mother Times jist cain’t compliment a Republican if she tries. Always gotta add a take-back.

To hear Donald Trump tell it, “millions of people” are waiting for him to make an endorsement in the Republican presidential primary. And at some point, he says, he’ll likely grace a candidate with one — that is, unless he decides to run himself as an independent. (USAT) DUH! ‘An somebody’s su’prised by that? Everbody knows that Donny Boy jist craves attention. ‘An as long as crazyness sells papers and raises ratings, he’ll git it.

Christie Rings ‘Bam’s Bell: Obama Left Us ‘Hopeless’ and’Changeless’ (Fox Nation) DUH! Good act, Guv! You of all people know it’s the act that gits a body elected. Jist don’t fergit that DaddyO’s got the best one that hit town since Bubba Clinton felt our pain. Right up thair with pro-actor Reagan. An’ yore man Romney jist ain’t got no act at all. Pity.

…DUHH! Does anybody but me thank maybe the upstairs media is determined that the economy is gonna be beat down no matter how much it tries to git up an’ shine? An’ when Mother Times says it, they all foller right along? Like damn the facts, lets all say our opinion?

C’mon fokes, give the economy a break. We’ll all be better off if you people stop bad-mouthin’ it! An’ don’t give us that crap that you jis’ report the news. The headline in this piece says you’re determined to report thangs as bad even when they’re good!

It’s like at ole philosopher David Hume said back air before we made our best oil discovery, which wuz it’s a great excuse fer startin a war, “It is never possible to deduce judgements of value from matters of fact” —Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding (1751)

Media mogul Donald Trump will moderate a Republican presidential debate sponsored by the conservative website Newsmax in Des Moines, Iowa on Dec. 27, Newsmax confirmed today. Duh! Now Trump’s a media mogul? Whut happened to the title real-estate mogul? An’ is everbody with a high-horse TV show a media mogul?

Question:  “How much time is Obama focused on the campaign on a given day?” (a actual question asked in a news conference). Answer: White House spokesman Jay Carney: akshully sez “On a given day?  I can’t do it on a given day.  I would say on a given week about 5 percent of his time.” (WPost)… Duh! Boy, don’t you know that if you’re gonna lie you oughtta at least make it sound believable? You need t’take some lessons frum yore boss!

Now available from Staples: Dunder Mifflin paper as on “The Office,” at stupid TV show.(Chicago Trib) At really ain’t a Duh! Everbody knows at anythang fictional, ‘speshly frum TV sells better’n reality. ‘Less yer talkin’ reality shows. But them thangs are jist about as fictionoid as it gits.

A couple of pollsters who have worked for democratic candidates for years are urging Barak Obama to step down and fergit runnin’ fer re-election, “for the good of the country.” (WS Journal) Duh! Them boys cain’t be serious. If they wuz, they’d figger out a reason that was fer his own good. No serious politician does whut he does fer “the good of the country.” It’s always good fer self. Everbody knows at!

Like at ole boy Siggy said jist ‘fore he invented his famous slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

Rick Perry Dead? …in the water, that is. He’s tryin’ t’git his failin’ campaign goin’ agin with a flat tax plan? – Dang! At’ll shore grab’em. I mean talk about imagination. Talk about grabbin’ everbody’s attention! Duh! When a lotta fokes he needs t’vote fer’im don’t ebm know who the vice president is, he’ really gonna grab the attention of their glazed-over eyes with a whut? A flat tax? Double Duh!

Mountain Dew Saved Holy Ghost’s Tour? (Billboard) – Duh? Who knew the Holy Ghost is a vocal duo, not whut the hell-fire preachers have been sayin’ all ‘ese years. An’ Mountain Dew ain’t jist a chaser, it also runs a record label. Dontchy jist love it?

We all know politics is dumb, but now politicians are talkin’ ’bout having primaries durin’ Christmas time. Duhh!

Cash payment outlawed? for used stuff has been outlawed in Louisiana? DUHH! How kin a gummint outlaw U.S. legal money? Ain’tat illegal? An’ ain’tat whut the Constitution is all about? Outlawin’ illegal stuff by gummint?

Like at ole boy Siggy said jist before he invented his famous slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)